Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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