Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
