Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
