census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
