i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
