Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
