worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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