Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
