After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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