According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
