Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
