How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
its liver damage thursday
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
