I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
