I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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