I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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