Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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