My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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