So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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