I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
