And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
