Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
