Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
