i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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