I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize