You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
