Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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