brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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