He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
