I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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