just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
