Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
