Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
