I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize