Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
