Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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