this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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