...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
