am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
