i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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