I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
