I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize