They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
