My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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