Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize
