so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
