he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
