I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
