alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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