you're like a bully in the Christmas story
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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