What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
