YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
