In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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