living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
