Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
