Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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