I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
