so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
