i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
