did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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