Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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