I can't watch pbs sober anymore
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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