i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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