I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
