today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
