If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The power of my boobs compel you
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
