Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
