Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
