after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
